Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
