ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
