Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
