i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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