Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
