and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
