Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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