So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
FUCK WHALES
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
