I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize