In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
