dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
