so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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