My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize