plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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