What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
