you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
