I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
What a dumb baby whore.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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