Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
