you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
