I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
