he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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