R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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