Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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