eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my shit smells like andre
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
