So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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