It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
