So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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