I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
