Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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