I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
pray to the hookup gods
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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