That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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