He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
