I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i barfeds in our rink
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
