tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This is my gift to your gina
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
