I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
