thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
