We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
