Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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