LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
