I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize