a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
