i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
