Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
