i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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