So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
