Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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