I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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