after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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