I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
