Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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